When Teens Feel Like They’re Ready For The “S” Word

source: post40bloggers.com

Would you shoo your teen away when he or she is talking to you about sex or will you be able to control panic?

My niece, Martha, was pacing back and forth the front lawn as I pulled up. She seemed nervous and was biting her nails. Something is up, I can feel it. Martha is my sister’s daughter and sadly, they are not close. She would open up to me more, which is fine with us – at least, we know what’s up with her since these days, teenagers opening up to their aunts are rare. She smiled so big, showing all her pearly whites as she called my name when I opened the car door, “Amy!”

source: verywell.com

“Hey, what’s up? You didn’t text me.” I spoke to her plainly.


“Mom took my phone.” She said, pouting her lips.


“What did you do?” I asked.


“Nothing! I’m 18 and allowed to have a boyfriend! All my friends have boyfriends! She doesn’t get that. Only you can get it because you’re cool, Amy.” The teen said as we entered my house.


“Wait for me at counter and help yourself with whatever you like. In fact, pour me a glass of iced tea and there’s pizza in the fridge. Heat it up. Are you sleeping here?” I asked the 18-year-old.


“You know it, Aunt Amy! You’re the best, as always. I don’t know how you and mom are sisters. So different!” She said.


“Martha, she’s you’re mom. And if ever I’ll have my own child, I’d be protective too. Like your mom is to you, girl.” I said to her as I went up the stairs and changed into comfy clothes.


My niece thinks that our talks are 100% sealed, but the truth is, I tell my sister the important facts. Some situations may be too delicate and I leave it out because I don’t want my sister to panic. As long as I can contain Martha, me and my sister will understand my actions.


When I reached for my phone, there was a text message from my sister.


“Amy, is Martha with you?” She asked.


“Yup. What happened? I just got home and she’s making dinner and will be staying here overnight.” I replied.


“She’s having sex with Lisa Marie’s son!” She exclaimed.


“How sure are you? Did you see them? Evidences?” I asked.


“I just know.” She texted back.


“Andie, banking on false imaginations will stretch the problem even more. I’ll try to get her to open up to me and will let you know.” I said.


When I went downstairs, everything was ready. We both sat on the high chairs and Martha started to talk.


“I have a boyfriend.” She said.


“That I know. Lisa Marie’s son, Jayden, right?” I asked.


She nodded in confirmation.


“And?” I said with a smile while biting my cheese pizza.


“Mom thinks we’re doing it. She barged in on us and went all crazy! Jayden was so scared, he literally ran out of the room. Andie took my phone and told me I’m grounded. She didn’t even let me explain.” Martha said.


“You know that you can trust me, right? Martha, you can tell me anything. Everything. I love you and that’s all that matters to me and Andie.” I tried to make her feel secure.


“I promise, Aunt Amy, we haven’t done it… yet.” She sipped her ice tea as she said that.

source: howtoparentateen.wordpress.com

Her reply almost choked me, but I had to remain calm. I need to know more. What if he “came” and his “goods” were near her “flower”? I was starting to get queasy.


“Ok. I believe you. But I have to know more so that I could help you. Your mom had you when she was 16 – you know that. While her outburst was indeed over the top, I think I understand how she feels. She doesn’t want you to have a baby at this age. I’m sure you understand that.” I said calmly.


“Of course, Aunt Amy. I understand it completely, but I’m so curious. Jayden and I are official and we’ve talked about it. Let’s just say that the man is satisfied. But my hymen is intact. I swear to you. Although, I can’t promise that I’ll be a virgin much longer.” She said.


I think I stopped breathing for a few seconds before I regained my composure. Think fast! I need to do something!


“Do you trust me?” I asked.


“Totally.” She said.


“Ok. I will call your principal tomorrow and tell her that we are going to have a check-up. I want to bring you to my OB-GYNE so that she can provide options for your contraception. If I can’t dissuade you from having sex, then, I might as well help you be safe. Know that I am not happy with this. In my opinion, I feel that you’re rushing, but it’s your life and your decision. I will support you, nonetheless. Your mom means well. She just doesn’t know how to show it in a way that you would understand.” I said to Martha.


“Thank you, Amy. You really understand me.” Martha said.


“One more thing, I need you to speak with a counselor. I know a website that offers counseling services – its online therapy from BetterHelp. I’ll pay for your sessions.” I said.


“Ok. Anything I have to do, consider it done.” Martha agreed.


Later that night, I told my sister the things she needed to know about my talk with Martha. She said that she wanted to get to that level with her daughter, but she doesn’t know how. I told my sister that I booked her and Martha in a counseling session together so that they can resolve their issues and learn how to communicate with one another. I’m hopeful that they will be able to patch it up.

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