Source: pixabay.com
“I don’t know what’s happening to me, mom. Something is wrong with me. I can’t understand how I feel. What’s sure is I know I’m not doing well. Help me, mom. Please.”
That was the cry of my eldest daughter one-night last year while my separation with their dad was still fresh. I know the signs of depression – self-isolation, no energy, hopeless, extreme sadness, crying all the time, no appetite for food, always lying in bed or sleeping, agitated without good reason, not in the mood to do the things you previously love, and blankness. These signs I know so well because I was once held back by it. At times, my depression also kicks in, and I try my best not to show it to my kids because I don’t want them to lose hope. I think I did a not-so-good job because here is my eldest daughter, and she is depressed.
Source: pixabay.com
“I am sorry for talking back at you, mom, but I am just so angry all the time. It just comes out. I can’t control it. I want to control it, but my heart wants to burst. And I can’t breathe, mom. I can’t breathe, mom. Help me.”
If you hear your child talk like that, how do you respond? My heart ached for her, and I didn’t know what to do at that very minute. She has always been strong and independent, but now, she asked for my help over and over again. My daughter wanted me to help her, and how can I do it? My mind was racing, and I was thinking of ways to comfort her and make her feel that everything will be alright.
“My dear child, my firstborn, my beautiful and lovely daughter – everything will be alright.”
I said that in an instant and without thinking. How can I be sure that everything will be alright? Her father is gone, and I am left to take care of five kids with their emotional, mental, and psychological needs. It’s not easy at all. If there were a book on how to take care of your kids right after ending your 20-year marriage, I would buy it and read it to heart. But there is no such book. There is no such guide on how to do it. It will have to be experienced and carried on without a manual – one day at a time.
Source: pixabay.com
This situation prompted me to contact my ex-husband. He happily answered his phone, and I could hear his young mistress talking on the background. It hurt me like hell, but I didn’t want him to feel it. I just told him bluntly that our first-born may be displaying signs of depression. He was silent for a moment and told me, “I’m sorry. This is my fault. What can we do to make it better for her?”
A heavy load was lifted from me with those simple words. He wants to be there for our daughter and being a “team” for this particular problem, and I am sure our daughter will start to get better.
I suggested that we need to bring our daughter and all our children to a family therapist. I told him that this is not an attempt to get back together; instead, the intention is for everyone in the family to move on and accept this divorce. He agreed, and then, we set up an appointment with a counselor.
Related Posts :
