Peers you are usually with impact how you perceive your situation and even your worldview. However, there is this notion that sticking too much with a group can make you lose your individuality. It should not be the case. Moreover, pressure from peers should not always be seen in a negative light. Sometimes, well-meaning peers can have a positive effect on your disposition.
The same goes for any marriage. It is relatively easy to develop the habit of blaming your spouse for his/ her shortcomings, especially when you are surrounded by people who also look at their spouses negatively. Paul DePompo, PsyD says “We have to let our partners be themselves and cannot be judge-y.” Staying with people who are happily married can also rub off positivity on your as well.
You Will See Your Spouse’s Good Traits
When you are married for a long time, you tend to focus on your spouse’s shortcomings more than their good traits.
You would get angry at your spouse because he lifted the toilet seat again, after telling him several times that you wanted the toilet seat down. Piles of dishes remain on the sink. It is as if everybody in the house is waiting for you to complete the household chores. You feel more of a household helper than a legitimate member of the household.
You neglect to see that your spouse is the one driving the kids to school. Your spouse is also the one doing the grocery shopping, among others.
Actively participating in peer groups who want to want to work out their marriage will make you want to work for your marriage as well. You will focus on your spouse’s strong points, and in turn, your spouse will feel more satisfied with your union.
When you appreciate your spouse through their strengths, your spouse will feel that a huge burden has been lifted off their chest. The weight of having to conform to a specific image can bring excessive and unnecessary stress. Stop letting negativity and anxiety get in the way of your relationship. Alicia H. Clark, PsyD says, “Anxiety is a squirly emotion that doesn’t always “respect boundaries” when it comes to areas of our life.”
Your Will Receive Sound Advice
Is your marriage suffering from a rough patch? Having friends who have a good set of values can help you in overcoming your problems.
Having a good set of friends is assurance enough that you can receive sound advice reflective of their own experiences. Refrain from asking opinions from people who had terrible marriages or are suffering from marital problems. They may give you advice that may be harmful to your marriage.
Your friends will be able to influence your worldview into becoming a more positive one. You are more or less assured that because they have good marriages, your marriage will be better in time as well.
Having friends that have positive outlooks in life are good company. They view their marriages as blessings in their lives. They enjoy married life, contrary to popular notion that marriage is a nuisance.
A good relationship with your spouse is good for your children as well. They will be less susceptible to undergoing negative peer pressure in their teens. They will feel secure in the family because they see that their parents are not quarreling as much. “What counts in making a happy marriage is not how compatible two people are, but how they deal with the incompatibilities in their marriage”, says Sheila Kamen, PsyD.
